Monday, October 31, 2011

I Want to Talk, Desperately Want to Utter Words

Today, I have only said these words:
 
Thank you - getting of the bus near church
Ten meatballs and chips, please - ordering food at Ikea
Yes, please - answering the question, "berry and gravy?"
Thank you - paying for my meal
Thank you - paying for my scarf at primark
Thank you - getting off my bus near university house
Medium hazelnut latte, please - ordering my coffee at Costa
Thank you - paying for my coffee
 
Twenty one words in total. What a quite world. What a lonely planet.

Beauty

She was such a beauty. I was sitting on the floor near Gate D7, waiting for the queue to the security check of the gate to be a bit shorter. Well, I was too tired and too sleepy to just stand there. I don't mind being the last to board the plane, I got my favourite seat booked anyway. And she was standing there on the queue, perfect slim body with great legs and just a perfect height, blonde and perfectly done hair, perfect make up, awesome boots, nice fitted white jeans, pretty loose blouse gracefully fell to one side of her shoulders. Her face shows a bit of arrogance, quite aristocratic trace, I will say. Something that will scare you enough and amuse you at the same time. She was such a beauty, even the way she tilted her head to one side. Damn. How come there is such a beauty. I can't help being jealous.  
 
She was such a beauty. I was hurrying down the corridor to reach the passport control as soon as possible. I wasn't paying much attention to anything. What could be special anyway? Just a regular flow of passengers on the late night flights. And she was there, walking with a middle aged and limped woman, helping her carrying her big bag all the way down the long corridor. The beauty hold one strap, the limped woman hold the other one. The limped woman keep thanking her for helping her with this big bag without trolley and she just smiled beautifully. She was such a beauty.
 
And I looked away in shame. My eyes got watery. Would I have done the same thing? Would I have offered help to that limped woman or would I just pretend that I didn't see because it was all her fault for carrying a big bag without a trolley to the cabin? Would I have shown compassion? I, after all, who has received grace, who has known that unconditional love given to me while I was unworthy of it? I, among others, who has been showered with compassion all my life without even once deserve it? Would I have acted like one who knows how to love after being loved so much? Would I have put my Christian teachings of faith, hope, and love into practice instead of judging people all the time and being so self-centred all the time?  
 
My face may not shine with beauty that will turn people's eyes on me. Well, it is definitely not. But I have a heart that's been washed in Christ's blood and it definitely is capable of shining with beauty. My heart can shine with the beauty of unconditional love that has been showered unto me abundantly. My heart may turn people's heart to the Christ. So would I?