Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me that Life Could be Like This?

You don't have to be very much in it to realize that there are only a perceptive few who see your pain, but they may well not know what to do or say. The others, sadly often your closest relatives, friends, sometimes even your doctor, will insist that you get a grip on yourself. 'snap out of it' and get on with living.

It is then that your world takes on the ghastly reality of the isolation of it. You know that no other human being can have felt like this because someone would have told you -- warned you that it could be this bad. But the experience cannot be put into words or communicated. You are right that no one else ever felt like this because each is its own unique self. It takes on a life of its own. It has its own root causes peculiar to you.

You ask for help and they stuff you with pills. They won't listen because you need a million hours. You need a million hugs. You need a million words of reassurance.

These you cannot have, for the world is busy with its own life and importance. The reality is that you are what the world might call 'mentally ill'. And that really hurts. It hurts like hell.

People who make out there are simple answers are wrong, and their cliche-ridden talk drives you further into it.

-Sue Atkinson-