THE plan

Okay, this is the plan. I'm getting TOO slow on this writing and deadline is APPROACHING like a twister.

1. no facebook until I submit
2. no chatting until I send out my first draft
3. no internet until I finished writing out my results
4. working without procrastinating for ONE HOUR period every time
5. in between my one hour period, 10 minutes of break, except for lunches and dinners
6. pray. never forget to pray.

ganbatte!

LaTable

Just a little self note on how to convert an excel table into Latex so damn easily. Found it on the net, with an example and snapshots at http://zigzag00.blogspot.com/2010/08/latable-easy-way-to-write-tables-in.html

Basically, just copy the table from excel, paste it into LaTable and copy the Latex code from LaTable then paste it into your Latex editor. Voila! Headache cured! Just need to add a table environment if you want it floating, add the caption and done! Fuuuuuuu. Love it!!!

LaTable can be downloaded from http://www.ctan.org/tex-archive/help/Catalogue/entries/latable.html

2012

New Year's day! I make it to 2012: alive, relatively healthy, loved, and in spite of everything still wanted by people who matter the most to me. In short, I will say I still have enough reasons to live. Once again, I have to admit that I made it to this day by clinging like crazy to my Jesus. Unrealistic as it sounds to some people, Jesus has been my only hope to go through everything last year, the hardest year in my life so far:

1. school, at this moment don't even want to remember all suffering I have had to endure for the past 15 months
2. that guy, okay: another blog IS the place for this subject as I hesitate on putting too  many side subjects in this blog
3. depression, another blog is dedicated for this matter; for some reasons I will keep it anonymous
4. friends, making friends, keeping them, tolerating their harsh treatment, and at the end finally can recognize the jewels among them
5. new life, abroad and back home, both are not easy, both require so much energy and determination, just exactly the things I lack of at the moment
6. family matters, who says having a family that loves you so and care about you so will free you from troubles WITH them?
7. addiction to some silly stuff like procrastinating.

At the end, I can see that everything is indeed in God's plan. The proverb said that God has made everything beautiful in its time. As I say it, I heart captured four keywords:
1. God. It is God and God alone who owns the power
2. everything; not some things, not some exceptional things, not just heavenly things, but everything
3. beautiful; what is better than beautiful?
4. it's time; there's a particular time, might take a second, a day, a week, a year, a lifetime, or even an eternity.

Little by little, I can see things explained. Those whys I have cried out loud in the silence of the nights in that bedroom on campus, those whys I have been sobbed of in the secrecy of those dimmed toilets around campus, those whys I have silently carried in my chest as I fought my way through my days, some of those whys have been answered. Long list made short, the answers can be contained in this word: God has set everything out for my own good. Just my stupidity that is even greater than the universe so that it took so long for me to understand it.

So new year, bring it on. I think I have been through the lowest of it all. But if I haven't, if I still have to go through worse parts, I think I have learned how to stand strong: by getting on my knees.

Happy new year! God is good all the time!